WHEN you suddenly lose someone close to you it can feel like time itself freezes while you remain stuck in a horrific snapshot of grief.

But the world never stops turning, as the mother of drowned schoolboy Ben Quartermaine can attest one year on from her beloved son’s death.

Cheeky and outgoing Ben, 15, died after he was caught in dangerous currents near to Clacton Pier on July 26 last year.

Vicky Gentry, her partner Colin and Ben’s 20-year-old brother Josh had to find a way to carry on.

An outpouring of support from the wider Clacton community culminated in a remembrance day in Ben’s honour last weekend.

It celebrated his love of motorcycles, his favourite songs and flamboyant quirks - including his habit of wearing a tiara - all while raising money to fund the RNLI.

Vicky said: “Everyone was wearing them. It was so nice to see.

“When people from the town need help, the town pulls together - there is no shortage of people wanting to help.

“The organiser Marion did an amazing job and put so much effort in.

“For the whole year, she’s been messaging us asking what we think about different things, trying to find people that would sing Ben’s favourite songs.

“She was talking to Ben’s friends trying to find out Ben’s favourite music.

“The amount of effort she’s put in is incredible and I had never met her before.”

Ben’s death not only attracted national media attention, but also inspired change in the way children in Tendring are taught about water safety.

More than 2,000 youngsters in Walton and Clacton are being given free swimming lessons this year.

Vicky was impressed at the way sea safety sessions were being handled at Ben’s school Clacton Coastal Academy.

“They are getting more kids to listen, as they’ve taught a group of students and that group of students are teaching the rest of the school,” she said.

“I think teenagers are going to listen to their peers rather than adults.”

It has been an intense year of activity for Ben’s family and it has left little room for reflection.

They now hope for a period “out of the spotlight” to process their loss.

Vicky said: “It’s overwhelming sometimes.

“I don’t like being the centre of attention as it is, if it came to the point of talking in front of a group of people or being elsewhere, I would rather be in my room.

“We’ve been thrown to the front and with everyone’s eyes looking at you it’s been difficult.”

She added: “Josh seems to be okay.

“He still goes out with his friends - he likes concerts - and while he’s still doing that sort of thing I’m not going to worry about him.

“When he stops doing the things he normally does I think is when I know he’s having an issue.

“He’s got some very good friends around him.”

For only the second time since that fateful day last July, Vicky and Colin visited the beach where Ben’s body was found as part of a candlelit vigil.

There they laid flowers and absorbed the reality of a world without his boundless enthusiasm and energy.

Vicky wishes she had a fraction of her son’s confidence.

She said: “He would have loved all this fuss being made.

“He was so different from us. He loved being the centre of attention, he absolutely loved it.

“If I had just a tiny bit of his confidence I would have been so much better off - just having that little bit of confidence makes a difference in so much.”

“He was always cheeky, confident and outgoing.

“It was the first time really I had been down there, I just find it hard.

“A lot of people go down there to think of Ben, but I don’t associate the beach with Ben.

“It’s where he died but that doesn’t define who he was.

“Little things will remind me of him, like going past his friends’ houses, seeing someone out the corner of your eye and thinking it’s him.”

There is no advice Vicky can give to bereaved parents.

She doesn’t believe such advice exists.

“I don’t think it’s sunk in,” she said.

“Part of me knows yes he’s gone, but there’s another part that doesn’t seem to have registered it.

“I’ve always been the sort of person who doesn’t cry in front of people.

“I have had walls built up to protect my emotions, so some days I am able to put the front on and hold it together better than others.

“There’s nothing anyone could say that would help.

“It will be so different for each individual person, the circumstances are always different, and there is absolutely nothing you can say that would help anyone else.

“All you can do is take each day as it comes.

“It happens and unfortunately the world doesn’t stop.

“As much as we want it to sometimes, you still have your bills to pay.”

Vicky and Colin hope to fund a memorial bench in Ben’s memory - a place his friends can visit to quietly reflect.

They will ride their motorcycles from Clacton to John O’ Groats, in Scotland, on Sunday, stopping at RNLI stations along the way.

The pair hope businesses will sponsor the ride, raising funds for lifeboat volunteers and the memorial bench.

To get involved, email Colin at colin-gentry@hotmail.co.uk.